You ever heard the cliche, “She’s a dream come true“? Well, let me redefine it for you:
From One Side Of The Country To The Other
Doesn’t seem like that long ago, but in 2004 I was just a New York City college kid from the Bronx. I was born and raised in the Bronx, so the city life was all I knew. Like anyone who loved where they grew up, I always had the idea that I would find the girl to marry and raise my kids there. After all… I was in friggin’ New York City – the center of the universe! WHY on earth would I ever leave?
Well, at the time I had a girlfriend I was serious about. We had some names picked out for our kids and I was determined to marry her. I thought I had all my ducks in a row while I was with her and knew what my future was going to look like.
It seemed like fate had other plans…
On our second year anniversary, the girl I was so much in love with, broke my heart. I’d like to tell you the exact reason why we broke up, but almost a decade later, I still couldn’t tell you. We were both raised as Christians so for all I know, there could have been some spiritual significance on her end that motivated her to let me go. I will say that if that was the case for her, then I would have to agree with gladness for her decision.
At that time however, I was anything but glad that she dumped me. Now, before you go thinking I just didn’t have the confidence or guts to just get over it, let me just say that I have always been a family man. While I had many crushes and flings in my lifetime, I only ever wanted one serious relationship and I was careful to pick who that girl would be. When she chose to leave me, it was the most unexpected moment I have ever faced.
I’ll spare you the drama that proceeded the breakup. That’s not what this story is about anyway…
I was in my third year of college when I realized my life was going nowhere. My whole life’s plan was being re-written and I was no longer the author. I was doing a poor job in school and as expected, I secluded myself from people and whimpered around at how lonely I was (Umm…duh?!)
Anyway, one day I was in some class or another chatting on my laptop instead of taking notes when an instant message appeared on my screen from some random person. Intrigued, I started to converse with this new friend of mine. This friend began sharing scriptures with me from the Holy Bible about what love is defined as:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
As we conversed, I assumed this person I was speaking to was some guy in his 30s who was attempting to console me and take me under his wing by offering some encouragement. When I discovered this gentleman’s name was Brittny and she was in her late teens, I was completely thrown off.
God Knows What He’s Doing
A few months after my ex-girlfriend dumped me, I was in the car listening to a preacher on radio. In his sermon, he was speaking about giving God your desires in vivid and specific detail – so I did. You’ll probably laugh, but I started painting an exact image of the kinda girl I wanted to marry. I was certainly specific – down to her height, hair and eye color.
I got even deeper:
- My future wife is to be a virgin
- She must never have kissed a boy or had a boyfriend
- She must love God first and me second
- She must have a smile that pierces my heart
I say you’d probably laugh, because seriously, this girl who found me on instant messenger happens to fit EVERY single quality I listed in my petition to God!
The Courtship of Brittny
Thus began our wonderful “Don’t-Call-It-Dating” courtship! I flew her and her sister to New York to meet my friends and family, and introduced her to life in New York City. She thought it was fun, but ultimately not the warmest place to live. She’s a country bumpkin, and you can’t take the country from the girl! On one of my trips to Texas, I took up all the guts I had in me and went on a camping trip with her father where, between two shot guns in a small tent in the woods… I asked him for Brittny’s hand in marriage!
His response, “Well, I guess I can’t stop her if she wants to marry you.”
I then proposed to her as we were talking about all the wonderful things we’d like to do together in ministry to other people. We have a heart for helping others and that’s what gave me the guts to pop the question.
Guess what she said?
I Married The Girl Of My Dreams!
Many people can only see their surroundings and imagine their whole life enveloped in their current perspective. As you’re walking through life, you get an idea of the kind of person you’d like to marry. When your heart is broken like mine was, you lose sight of the bigger picture. Fortunately, as I lingered onto a prayer and a petition of the perfect woman, God answered me with a girl who grew up on the other side of the country.
It got me thinking… all that time in New York City… there was a girl on the other side of the U.S. who was living her own life and having her own experiences… and the whole time, she was meant for me. The whole time, she was being bred and prepared to someday marry me.
While I stand here (or sit, rather) contemplating all that has transpired… I find myself in awe of the kind of life I’m living. To find myself married to a woman who waited her whole life for me… who never kissed a boy until her and I stood at the altar on our wedding day… I am beyond words.
I love this woman, and she means the world to me. Now, in our 6th year together as husband and wife… it is my honor to be the father of our first child. Our baby girl, Melody Rose will be here in January of 2014 and the next chapter of our lives will finally begin!
Brittny, if you’re reading this, I’d just like to say thank you for being my best friend and choosing to share your life with me. I have never been more honored and loved to have you as my wife.
Every year…no, every day that passes, I think of how much you mean to me and I’m still so very much in love with you. Thank you, Brittny…
Happy 6th Anniversary.
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